What do you want in the coming year? What changes do you want to see? Are you approaching the season of resolutions with joy or dread? It’s kind of a mixed bag, isn’t it? “Gee, I want to be thinner, happier, wealthier….but I don’t know quite what to do. Where do I start?” Does that sound like familiar head chatter? We can take the stress out of making and keeping resolutions by figuring out what you truly want and go about making those changes one step at a time – this time in a different way. If you can look back, this time next year, and see changes for the better, then it will all have been worth it, right? As they say in Australia, “Let’s give it a go, mate!”
Five Tips on Making Resolutions That Lead to Positive Change.
1) The very first thing you need to do is figure out what you want, from an emotional point of view. It’s not that you “want to lose weight,” it’s how you will feel when you are thin. It’s not that you “want more money,” it’s that you want to feel prosperous and be able to enjoy the good things in life or do more good in the world. It’s not that you “want to get organized,” it’s that you will feel (and probably be) more productive when you clear the clutter and organize your stuff. Tip #1 then, is to name what you want to change in your life and then dig deeper to identify the motivating emotion behind the desired change or resolution. The human brain is more likely to support what you want to achieve when it knows how you want to feel when the change occurs.
2) Be willing to train yourself like you would a new puppy. (Yep, you read it right!) The whole secret to change is retraining the brain to make different choices in the same circumstances. If you want to quit smoking, you will need to train your brain to choose NOT smoking over smoking, recognize your triggers and then to do something else instead.
Using the stimulus-response technique, like a puppy, your subconscious responds to positive reinforcement and substitution. If you set a goal to stop smoking, then you need to have a list of rewards you can give yourself when you make a choice not to light that cigarette. Or, in the case of weight loss, have a list close by that gives you alternative suggestions for the chocolate cake, the candy bar or the fried chicken. Reward your good behavior, be gentle and positive with yourself just like you would be to a new puppy that is just getting his bearings in the new home. Show yourself a little love and patience and you will reform your bad (former) behavior into good (improved) behavior and healthier choices. Tip # 2 is to be positive, patient, and reward your good behavior as you make day-to-day changes.
3) Help yourself by organizing your desired change in the same way that you would search for a new car. List the positive and negatives, the pros and cons and the best advantages of the changes you want to achieve. Make a list of the rewards and advantages you will have when the change is successfully accomplished. Figure out what your triggers are and have a pre-written script so you can talk yourself out of the temptation with firm images of the new and improved you. You may want to list things like: better breathing, healthier lungs, clothes that don’t smell of smoke and the monetary savings from not buying cigarettes if you want to stop smoking. Or, that you look younger, you like how your clothes fit and feel and you have more energy for the activities you enjoy if you are wanting to lose weight. Make sure the changes are always written in positive statements that reflect how you will feel in the future when the change is accomplished. So, Tip # 3 is to become your own coach and give yourself affirmative pep talks using milestones and accomplishments as motivators.
4) Just because you want to doesn’t mean you have to. Know the power of choice exists in every moment. If you crave something like a cigarette or a candy bar you don’t have to satisfy that need. Elect yourself Captain of Your Own Ship and set some rules for yourself. Make a list of “other” things to do or consume when you feel a craving. You do not have to give in. It could be a life or death choice. Check in with the Captain and be ready to engage in an alternative. Tip #4 is to follow orders. Once you are the Captain, you determine the rules and you happily conform.
5) Lastly, Be SMART. This acronym stands for: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timely.
Make your goals Specific. Know what you want to change and decide how you’re going to change.
Be sure you have ways to Measure your progress. When you can see the changes happening your motivation to stay on track will be strengthened.
Make sure your desired changes are Achievable. Use a bar chart, a graph, or a yardstick to record your progress so you can see and feel your progress as you move towards your goal.
Set Realistic goals and you will be able to observe the changes one step at a time. Don’t set yourself up to fail by setting goals that only Mother Theresa or the Iron Man could achieve.
Develop a Timeline. Once your goal is specific, measurable, achievable and realistic add in a time frame that contains benchmarks you can meet and surpass. You will find that having a deadline will help you achieve the success you desire.
Extra tips for losing weight:
Keep a food journal so you will see what you eat and how often. List the calories consumed, notate your emotions in the moment and review the notes at the end of the day. Make a list of foods you can substitute that are better, healthier choices and keep that list handy for quick reference.
Extra tips for getting organized:
If you want to reduce the clutter, hire an expert or solicit a friend to help you make decisions.
Use the five box technique: Label five boxes with the names: Give Away. Sell. Donate. Recycle. File. When each box is filled, take it away and create another on in its place. Keep going until you can see all your surfaces and everything is put away in its place, or distributed elsewhere.
Extra tips for quitting smoking:
It will take the body approximately 30 days to detox from the over 200 chemicals contained in cigarettes. Help yourself by drinking lots of extra water and eating protein, vegetables and fruit. Refrain from alcohol and other sugars, starches and salts. When you support the detox process with good nutrition your body can readjust to the new chemical structure better and adjust more readily to the healthier way of life and breath.